Wendip Week 2017 (As told by Kamen Rider Weird)
by CastleofFiction
Summary: Join Ken Takigawa as he takes a break from saving Oregon to tell stories of the love between Dipper and Wendy. With the help of his co-host Phoebe, he'll show you just how special Gravity Falls' greatest couple is! (Thanks to Ddp456 and SuperGroverAway for letting me borrow their canon to create my Gravity Falls future!)
1. Introduction

"YES!" Ford shouted triumphantly as he got off the workbench.

Ken Takigawa looked up from his reading excitedly. "Is it ready?!"

"Here you go!" Ford handed him the device, which looked like a wristwatch. "With this, you can break the fourth wall for this special event! Just return it to me when you're done!"

Ken took a deep breath and put it on. As he did, he felt his mind expand. Nothing around the room changed, but he suddenly was able to look away from it all and see in the mind's eye an entire audience of readers. He raised a hand in salutation, and the words came out without him even thinking.

"Hey there, everyone! My name is Ken Takigawa, but you may know me as Kamen Rider Weird - the star of CastleofFiction's hit series by the same name. I know he's not that far in, but spoiler alert, I eventually get accepted - you can read all about that soon enough, as if that was gonnna be a surprise. But that's a story for another day. We're not here this week to talk about me…." he went to a window and pointed outside. "...we're here to talk about them."

Looking outside, he saw the redheaded Wendy Corduroy Pines and the goateed Dipper Pines, each with a Pitt Cola as they laughed together. Smiling to himself, Ken turned back to face the viewer.

"One of the great things about being Kamen Rider Weird is getting to know the Pines family. And it's worth noting that that couple is nothing short of miraculous. Dipper and Wendy have been through alot together, and you can only partly blame it on the paranormal activity of this town. I've heard a lot about the moments they've shared - I've even been around for some of them. This week we're going through eight of the most beautiful events in their long life together."

"I told you not to start without me!" A voice called, making Ken jump. To his side was the thirteen-year old redheaded progeny of Dipper and Wendy's marriage.

"Phoebe! Sorry, honestly. Did you get your - ?"

She held up her wrist to reveal her own fourth-wall breaking watch. "Yeah, I did. Where were we?"

Ken turns to face the audience again. "This is my co-host during all this, their daughter Phoebe Pines. This is probably a good time to remind you of a few things you need to understand before we begin. Phoebe?"

"Right" Phoebe turned her attention towards the audience. "So as you know, we are set 26 years into the future in a timeline not authorized by Disney or by Toei, and all the stories you hear took place sometime in between. Additionally, Castle of Fiction is not the only one to have written about our universe. This was all an offshoot of the world created by SuperGroverAway, and we acknowledge some stories written by ddp456 as true - the full list of which ones will be out someday, but for now we'll let you know when each one becomes important."

Ken butted in. "Both of them are amazing Gravity Falls authors, and we highly recommend you check out their work. But for now, Pheebs, what are we talking about?"

Phoebe took out a small piece of paper. "Well, we have eight themes to stick to - although I definitely know a lot of stories from Mom and Dad's time that fit these:

Meet the Parents

Time Travel

5 + 1

The gang finds out

Handcuffed/Bound Together

Fake Relationship

Naughty and Nice

...Wildcard?

Kn rubbed his hands. "This is gonna be fun. Let's get going!"


	2. Meet the Parents

_Phoebe spoke first, "We mentioned that SuperGroverAway's works are canon, so some of you may remember 'Breaking the News' where Dad had a near-meltdown when it came to telling my mom's dad about their engagement."_

 _Ken spoke up, "To be fair, given the last time he had to deal with Manly Dan, who can blame him? You should have seen what he tried to pull when he wanted to tell Manly Dan him and Wendy were dating..."_

##################################################################

"Hey, Wen-Wen!" Mabel called out of the Shack as the redhead entered from the front. Wendy didn't even blink at Mabel knowing it was her. It had been slow at the gift shop ever since they got back from their cross-country journey a week ago. Given how that trip had ended, she couldn't complain - it gave her more time to mess around with her best-friend-recently-turned-new-boyfriend.

Today, however, there was more purpose to her visit. "Hey, Mabes. Seen Dipper around here?"

Mabel smiled. "I think my bro-bro went to the clearing next to the old bunker entrance. Planning to get some quality time with him?"

Wendy shook her head, still smiling. "Dipper was telling me we should probably tell my dad about our relationship. Figured the last thing I should do was make him go about it on his own."

She was expecting Mabel to jump up and down and be all gleeful, given that this in her mind was probably some defining moment in their relationship. Instead, she calmed down a bit and said "Oh" in a rather concerning tone.

Wendy took this as a warning sign. "Is something wrong?"

Mabel shifted guiltily "Well, I didn't want to say anything, but that would explain why he's been acting odd lately."

"Odd how?"

#######################################################################

Dipper approached the trunk of the tree leading to his Grunkle Ford's bunker...and pulled a newly-added branch to the immediate left. The forest floor right next to him slid open to reveal a tool that until recently, he hadn't used in about nine years.

He picked up the Manotaur bone-spear and gave it a twirl, thanking God that Ford had helped him set this area up. Taking off his shirt and throwing it up in the air, he hit a hidden button right below the branch. Immediately, wooden pipes emerged out of trees and began shooting rocks at him. TAP! TAP!. He began hitting as many of them out of his way as he could, causing little piles to build up around him. A few seconds later he could feel a WHACK behind him as he failed to hit a rock out of the way before it got his shoulder. With a numbing sensation, Dipper moved to the button and hit it again, shutting it off.

As he breathed heavily, something brown and bigger than a rock flew his way. He hit it into the ground with a THUD before seeing it was a hatchet. _Her_ hatchet. He jumped up with alarm as he saw his girlfriend emerge from the woods, looking confused.

"Wendy, I - what are you doing here?" He said as he looked around for his shirt.

She was equally confused. "Dipper, what's going on?"

"I… hold on, can I…where did I put my -?"

Wendy looked up and replied, "Hang on, dude, I got it." She undid her belt, looped it around a tree and her waist, and climbed up the tree to the branch where his t-shirt had landed. Throwing it down, she climbed back to earth as Dipper popped his shirt back on.

"Now will you please explain this?" she said, picking up his spear. Dipper sighed.

"I never did tell you about my visit to the Manotaurs, did I?" Upon Wendy shaking her head, Dipper explained about his quest for manliness back when he was twelve - how Manly Dan had shown him up at the Greasy Diner, how the Manotaurs trained him to be a man and gave him the spear, and how he ultimately refused to slay the Multi-Bear for them and so ultimately gained nothing but pride.

"...despite that, I at least learned a few things. I was just seeing how much I remembered." He finished. As he looked to his side, praying that it was enough to quench Wendy's curiosity, he could see he was wrong.

"But why are you suddenly trying to do it now?! Is it...wait…." A thought occurred to her, and it sounded like something Dipper would think and do. "Does this have to do with visiting my dad?"

Dipper sighed. "He's the strongest and most manly figure in all of Gravity Falls. Meanwhile, the first time he met me, I insulted him by suggesting he owned a left-handed axe - I didn't even know that existed! I wanted to make sure that when I go to tell him I'm dating his daughter, I'd be...good enough! The Manotaurs were the only thing I'd ever seen him run from, so I figured if I had a bit of their fire again..."

As he got himself wound up, he heard the last sound he expected - the redhead to his right cracking up. "What's so funny?"

"OK, dork, let me break this down. Sure, he thought you were a wimp at first, but you know what happened since? He saw you take on the end of the world and come out on top - before you even turned thirteen! Then he saw me move mountains to be with you guys on several Christmases. I think he let me because it was specifically you guys! After all that," she continued, picking up the spear, "You think that you need the strength of some meatheads living in the woods to face him? Come on!" she stowed the spear in its nook before closing it up.

Dipper sighed. "I guess that's more logical..."

"Yeah, and you know what else? Every guy may have had to meet my dad before, and heck in almost any case I would have dumped them had he advised me too - I never felt strongly enough for them. But you? Whether he accepts this or not, I'm going through with it. We're together now, right? I want it to last as much as you do." Wendy smiled as her guy looked at her and nodded, smiling a bit.

"Thanks Wendy...and sorry for being ridiculous about this..."

She laughed and socked him in the arm. "Dipper, if you start getting wound up over getting wound up, we're gonna be here all day. Now...you ready?" She got up and pulled her boyfriend up with her. Together, the two made their way towards the log cabin that one of them used to call home.

##############################################################################

"HOW'S MY GIRL!?" Manly Dan roared as he hugged Wendy with both arms.

Wendy laughed wheezily. "Dad, we talked about this! Indoor voices, and ribs."

"Sorry, it's been awhile." He let her go. "So what gives?"

It was at this point that Dipper decided to step in. "Good afternoon, sir." he announced, barely keeping his voice steady. "Is it, um, ok if we talk?"

Dan took one look at the two and nodded. "BOYS, STAY IN YOUR ROOMS!"

"Dad!" Wendy objected.

"What? I'm calling to them from across the house, that does not count!" he sat down and gestured for them to do the same.

Dipper shifted uncomfortably, nodding to Wendy. His body language was clear to her - _Can you please start so I don't have a panic attack?_

She sighed, "You know Dipper, obviously, and you know how I was with them during a cross-country road trip for a few weeks?"

Dan nodded. "Go on, out with it."

Dipper breathed in. "Well, during that trip, we found out a lot about ourselves and -" he paused, clearly decided that was too weird, and restarted, "I mean one thing led to another -" he paused again upon realizing how that sounded. "Nothing like that, but the point is we're dating now and I wanted your permission." At this point he had to physically stop himself from holding his breath in anticipation.

For a silent minute the red-bearded man and the brunette stared each other down. Dipper had no idea what thoughts were stirring behind Manly Dan's mind, but he was sure his own eyes betrayed his anxiety and fear. He was expecting everything and ready for nothing.

Then came the one thing Dipper wasn't expecting - Manly Dan smiled. "Well, that's fine by me."

Dipper was confused. He was ready to be laughed at, yelled at, threatened, some combination of those...but acceptance. "Sir?"

Dan continued, "I've known you since you were a pipsqueak, lad. Sure, you have no muscle, but you showed me what true manliness is every once in awhile - chasing those woodland mysteries with your great-uncle or taking on monsters. And on top of that, you've been my girl's friend for years! The things she used to say about you...I think a part of me was expecting this."

"So, you're good with this?" Everything he was hearing was music to Dipper's ears.

Dan roared with laughter and clapped his knee. "Boy, do you not hear the words from my manly mouth? I'm more than good with this! I won't even ask you to avoid doing wrong by her, because I know you will make sure not to anyway!"

Dipper let out a sigh of relief and grinned. "Thank you sir, and I promise I won't do anything like that. I gotta say, I was worried you'd be worried about...other things."

Dan got up and pulled out a hatchet. "Don't get me wrong, there are some things I'd like to see you try. But I'm sure we can toughen you up in time! See that target over there?" He pointed to a target on the opposite wall before throwing his hatchet square in the bullseye. THWACK! "We'll have you throwin' with us sure enough!"

WHACK! A second hatchet landed next to the first, and both men turned to see Wendy grinning madly. They had honestly forgotten she was there. She then turned to hug Dipper. "And there you were all wound up, you dork."

Sure enough, as they walked outside after saying goodbye, Wendy looked at Dipper. "Nothing so hard about that, right?"

"I was honestly expecting a lot worse." Dipper conceded.

Wendy nodded. "He would usually ask 50 questions and try to scare whoever I'm dating. And offering to show you some lumberjack skills? He must think you're in for the long haul."

Dipper muttered to himself, "I mean, I want it, but if you doubt that..."

Wendy laughed "Again, I can hear you. But no..." she said pulling him close, "Something tells me this is gonna last a long time."

########################################################################################

" _How right she was." Ken noted. "Or you wouldn't be here with us, Phoebe."_

 _Phoebe was confused. "We're ending it there? I thought we were also telling the not-so-glamorous part? You know, about Wendy's mother?"_

" _Right, about that…" Ken turned to the audience. "Let us know in the reviews if we should talk about that, and if there are enough, we'll tell you that story a week or so after all scheduled WenDip Week content. Now, on to the next story!"_


	3. Time Travel

" _Y'know," Ken said, opening a bag of chips, "from the beginning Dipper has had experiences with time travel, and at some point or another he decided to tell Wendy about it. The two have seen more than their fair share of the Time Anomaly Removal Unit ever since."_

" _True, but there was one that Dad never told Mom about" Phoebe said. "Until we accidentally found out ourselves. It all started when Ken was vacuuming one day..."_

 _####################################################################_

BONK! "Oh, come on!" As Ken bumped the vacuum cleaner on the rug, it shifted to reveal part of the floor underneath it. He bent down to fix it, but then he noticed something odd.

Phoebe happened to be nearby and Ken decided he needed help. "Phoebe, have you ever seen this before?"

Phoebe rushed over to look. One of the boards was a different color than the rest. "No, hold on." She started to feel around the plank until she ran into a clasp. As she popped it open, the two moved it to the side to reveal a hollowed-out compartment.

"What is this?" She said pulling out a small box. As she opened it, however, Dipper and Wendy walked in.

In an instant, Dipper looked at the box in Phoebe's nad and called out "NO, DON'T - "

It was too late for her to close the box, but for a split second it made her fear what she would see...which at first didn't make sense as she stared down at a locket and a tape measure. "Huh?"

"What is that?" Ken looked at the tape measure and read off the extended piece. "1 day, days, 3 days...what?"

Phoebe gasped. "It's a time-traveling tape measure. You can use that plus the switch to go forwards or backwards in time a certain amount. But...why is this stuck on three days?"

Dipper snatched the box from them and tried to close it. "It's nothing, just mementoes from the old days, let me just put those back...HEY!"

Wendy took them from him. "You've had all those moved to the lab years ago! Is this really super rare? Dude, I wanna see!" With that, she popped upon the locket, only for her to shout "Whoa!" and her expression to change. As Ken and Phoebe looked at the locket, they too were confused.

It was a simple picture of a brown-haired boy next to a tall redheaded girl, both dressed in plaid, against a lake background at sunset. Phoebe knew immediately who it was - her parents when they were fifteen and twelve, taken at the local lakeside. But a few things confused her. For one, neither one wore their hats - something that at the time she didn't think had ever happened. For another, her mom's face betrayed nothing but confusion. "I don't remember this. You in plaid? That's awesome, but how come I don't recall anything like that?"

The most confusing part was when Ken nudged Phoebe and gestured towards Dipper. His face was impossible to read - relief? Sadness? Fear? - but the way he was scratching his arm was his signature giveaway. For some reason, Wendy seeing this locket was something he had been afraid of.

"Um..." he sighed. "There's something I never told you because I could never figure out how and because I thought it never mattered."

Wendy crossed her arms. "Dude. Spill."

Dipper took a deep breath….

###########################################################################

" _Now's a good time to say this" fourth-wall-breaking Phoebe interrupted. "So, the events of ddp456's story 'Three Days' are true, and Dad basically told everyone in the room about them, so we'll skip that."_

 _Ken chimed in, "Go check it out for yourself, it's a very intricate tale. For now, let's move to what happened after Dipper told the whole story..."_

##########################################################################

"So I spent the last day I had with you, and then used the jammed tape-measure to go back and stop you from getting injured in the car wreck another way. We were never together as a result, but for some reason I was allowed to keep this locket to remind myself what had been undone." He held the locket open in his hand.

"Let me get this straight," Wendy recapped. "You and I were an item for a few days, but when Bill targeted me as a result you decided to undo that timeline?"

Dipper nodded, still looking at that locket. "Before I reset it, you had told me I should never be afraid to take risks. But that one...I just couldn't. I buried this after awhile to forget about it, and after we started dating in this world it didn't matter. But I still wasn't able to tell you because I still can't even tell myself whether or not I did the right thing...for both of us."

Phoebe reached an arm out to touch his wrist. "Dad..."

Dipper got up and walked away. "I have to take notes on something I left in the lab."

"Sure you don't want help?" Ken said, getting up out of concern that Dipper should not be allowed to dwell on such things.

"No, I...it's better if I do this alone." With this, the other three watched as he left the room.

#########################################################################################################################################################################################################################################

Later that day, Wendy sat in her favorite lounge chair on the roof of the Mystery Shack. As she stared into the sun, she knew that in any other circumstance she would just enjoy the beauty of life around her. Unfortunately, her mind would not allow her to relax. It was one of those rare moments that she believed her mind was racing as fast as her husband's did on a daily basis.

She heard a knock on the shingles behind her and Ken's voice. "Is this roof occupied?"

That made Wendy chuckle. "Come on up."

Ken walked to her side, bent down and pulled a Pitt Cola from the cooler. "Thanks. We were out of these downstairs." He looked at her and it didn't take a genius to figure out what was wrong. "Aborted timeline got your tongue?"

She nodded. "Just thinking about what Dipper put himself through for awhile there afterwards. I don't know if you know this, since you're new, but...when he was twelve, I sometimes think he thought about me more than almost anything else. The mystery of the journals, before we met his grunkle Ford, might be one of a few exceptions. So to have three days of his dreams come true, only to throw it away for my sake...no wonder he held onto that locket, only to try and bury the memory."

Ken looked outward at the sun. "I think that only leaves one question in his mind - do you begrudge him for that? I may not have been here for long, but it's been clear enough he hates the thought of hurting you."

Wendy looked down. "If he had told me back then - and if I had believed him, since that would've been the first time I learned about time travel - maybe I would be. But later on, I saw how strong Bill was. Be thankful you never have to deal with him, Ken - even as Kamen Rider Weird. He turned an entire city into a mini-apocalypse and nearly did the same to the entire world. It was seriously hell." She sighed. "The thought that he targeted me and prayed on my mind...before Dipper knew the author and so had no way to beat him for good...what else could he have done?" She got up. "I need to go tell him that, he's probably still feeling guilty."

Ken spoke. "I think he knows all that already." She froze. "Which means he's already come to the same conclusion."

Wendy turned around. "Then why's he still feeling conflicted?"

"I've had friends before who I thought I wronged. They later on told me I didn't do anything nearly as bad as I thought. But there's that small part of you - the part that doubts everything - that refuses to let go of that. The longer it's been, the harder it is to let go. Almost 26 years...no amount of reasoning can get him out of this."

Wendy sighed. "Great."

Ken thought aloud. "Yeah, should have told him back then."

Wendy slowly felt a smile grow on her face. "Yeah…." she headed back down the ladder at top speed, alarming Ken.

"Where are you going?" he followed her to the living room where Mabel was.

"Mabes, do you have the time journal?"

"Sure do!" She reached into her sweater and pulled out a small notebook. "Here you go, Wen-Wen."

"Thanks." she took it out of her sister-in-law's hands and started flipping the pages.

"Time Journal?" Ken inquired.

"You've met Blendin Blandin of the Time Anomaly Removal Unit, right? Well, one time when we met him, in his own timeline he was close to retirement. He gave us this as a gift, so we could know when he may have to intervene next." She finally found the day's date and whooped. "Score! There's an entry in one hour. 'Finished mission, then met Wendy half a mile north. Memory blurry afterwards, treated for head trauma upon return.'"

Ken was a bit apprehensive. "How did that happen?"

Wendy looked at him mysteriously. "I'm gonna need your help."

###############################################################################

Blendin wiped his eyebrow as he walked through the forest. It had been a long day for sure. All he had to do was report to Command about his finished mission and receive another one - no thanks or consideration in the process.

"Hey Blendin."

He jumped as he looked around, only to sigh with relief as he saw Wendy. "Oh, thank God. I thought I had been spotted by someone new."

Wendy shrugged. "You gotta be less jumpy. Same old?"

"Yeah, mostly. I'm on a tight schedule, though. What's going on?"

"I just need your tape measure for awhile, and -"

At that, however, Blendin stood up straight. "Nope, no can do! I can't just give this to you!"

"Honestly, I didn't expect you to."

Blendin looked confused for a second. "Wait, what do you -?"

CLONK! He felt a sharp pain as he fell to the ground unconscious.

Wendy looked at the Japanese teenage boy that appeared behind him, grinning. "Nicely done."

"No problem," Ken replied as he dragged Blendin to a tree and checked his belt. He tossed the time-traveling tape measure to the redhead. "Pity we couldn't just use the broken one."

"Well, I need to go back a lot more than three days. Hold him there until I'm back," she said as she pulled the tape multiple times, set the switch to "Back", and released it. She disappeared immediately.

#####################################################################################################################################################

 _Twenty-six years ago…_

Twelve-year-old Dipper held the locket close to him, his eyes closed as he tried to recreate in his own mind the world that he and Wendy had shared. The fact that it officially never existed was disheartening, but what was far worse was the memory of her face as he had pulled the tape. He had betrayed her, as much as he'd like to pretend otherwise. "I'm sorry, Wendy" he said to himself as he lost consciousness.

Suddenly he felt a hand touch his shoulder. He looked up with bleary eyes, which were wide open as he Wendy looking at him with a smile. But that was impossible! Hadn't she gone home for the day?

Wendy cracked a small smile. "Hey, dude."

Realizing this was a dream, Dipper nervously smiled back. "H-Hey." He wondered if this was his sins revisiting him.

Wendy sat down and took his hand. "Listen, dude," she spoke with hesitation, choosing her words carefully. "However I feel about...things that arise when we are together, the fact is you've always made the right choice. You just need to believe in those choices."

Dipper looked up. "But...some choices I made...I couldn't tell you anything...and I still can't tell the real you about them!" His eyes glistened with sorrow.

Wendy pulled him in and held the little guy close. "There will be a day when you can. I don't know when that is and you have no way of knowing when that'll be...but until then, have faith that I'll understand why you did what you did, and I'll know you did the right thing."

Dipper hugged her back. "Thanks Wendy."

"Anytime, man." She lowered him back down and watched as his eyes closed back up, a face far more content than the one she had seen him wear before coming in.

As she left the scene, Future Wendy took out the tape measure again, thanking God that she hadn't changed too much over the years. Staying on her knees for a few minutes and making sure to wear similar clothing had proven to be enough. She pulled out the tape measure and set it to the appropriate length, making sure the switch was in the "forward" position this time.

###################################################################################################################################################

 _Present day…._

After giving the tape measure back to Ken and trusting him to send Blendin on his way, Wendy went down to the lab to see what Dipper was up to. He was fingering the locket, but now he smiled broadly as he did.

Wendy cautiously asked. "What's up?"

Dipper shook his head. "You can drop the act."

"As in - ?"

Dipper turned to face her. "There was a memory my mind had blocked off about this - one I had rejected since it made no sense. It was of you telling me I did the right thing, even though you should have had no idea. But when Mabel told me you asked for the time journal some time ago...I get it now."

As he collected his wife into a giant hug, she could feel him squeeze her a bit. "Remembering what you said - it's funny. It feels like a giant unnecessary weight was just taken off my shoulders. You really are the best thing I could ask for in life."

Wendy laughed as she returned the hug. "Well, looks like we're both willing to warp time for the sake of those we love."

Dipper chuckled. "I know for you, this is the second time you've heard this today, but...thank you."

#####################################################################################################################################################

" _So heartwarming" remarked Phoebe. "It's almost a shame we can't end on that note."_

" _Maybe" Ken replied, "But I'm just getting warmed up!"_


	4. 5 plus 1

" _With the exception of the locket" Ken continued as the two trooped into Dipper and Wendy's room, "most items from their past as a couple are proudly on display. This one's my favorite." He pointed to a stuffed panda-duck._

 _Phoebe chuckled. "That one sure does have a long story behind it. Ken, did Dipper ever tell you about the first time he tried getting Wendy one of those?"_

 _Ken shook his head. "I think everyone and their grandmother knows that story at this point..."_

 _############################################################################################################################################################_

 _ **Time #1 (Recap from the series)**_

Dipper looked in horror as Wendy held her eye in pain, with the baseball having just hit it.

"Hold on, Wendy! I'll get some ice!" He ran all the way back to the Shack as fast as he could and got one of the ten-pound bags. By the time he got back, with the bag half-empty and him cursing the stupid Mystery Fair games, it was too late - Robby had already used his snow cone to help Wendy's eye.

####################################################################################################################################################

" _I think from that moment on, to Dipper all cross-species stuffed animals represented that moment - and maybe any subsequent times with Wendy that he feels bad about, like Lookout Point," Ken reasoned._

" _Maybe" Phoebe shrugged. "But that didn't keep him from chickening out that one time." She turns to face the audience. "Ddp456's story 'Twin vs. Twin' absolutely happened in our universe, later that same summer, and for those of you who may recall..."_

 _#######################################################################################################################################_

 _ **Time #2 (Quoted from ddp456's "Twin vs Twin", PLEASE go to his page and read the full story for yourself)**_

Dipper leaned over to see a small game booth on the right side of the Ferris Wheel. The entire cubicle was covered in its trademark prize: a black and white striped teddy bear with a dark black zebra mane alongside the top of his head.

"I don't know if it's a zebra or a bear, _but I want one_!" The enlivened girl turned towards her pal with shining eyes and a tooth-filled grin.

Remembering the last time he was placed in that situation, Dipper took his crush by the hand and looked deeply into her eyes.

"Um…" he chuckled timidly. "Let's not and say we did…"

#####################################################################################################################################################

" _While we're on the subject" Phoebe continued. "A lot of authors believe that Dad found one on the internet and bought it for her when the time was right. Maybe in their universes. But in ours, he couldn't let himself off that easy. Something about that toy made it seem like to him that it had to be won in order for it to mean anything."_

" _Well," Ken picked up from there. "He had plenty of chances. Like the one time he tried three years later, the summer after Wendy graduated. Bear in mind, the pressure was high because he thought they may not see each other again. Well, a few hours later..."_

 _#####################################################################################################################################################_

 _ **Time #3 (Original content from here on out)**_

Fifteen-year-old Dipper woke up in his bed in the attic of the Mystery Shack, confused at what had happened. Or, more to the point, why there was an ice-pack on his head. As he looked up, he saw the last person he wanted to see him in this state.

"Hey, doofus," Wendy smiled, tilting the pine-tree cap Dipper gave her three years ago.

"Wendy?" Dipper sat up, gripping the ice pack and holding it against his head. "What time is it?"

"5:22 PM. You've been out for a few hours, man." Wendy frowned, a little concerned. "You remember what happened."

As pieces of the memory came back - him seeing a carnival stand with milk bottles, a baseball, and the panda-duck as a prize; deciding that Wendy would love it as a present; throwing the ball with Mabel cheering him on, only for it to bounce harmlessly right back to his face - Dipper groaned. "Oh boy. That all actually happened."

Wendy laughed. "Yeah, Mabel reckons you're the first person on the West Coast to knock himself out with a baseball during a carnival game."

Dipper sighed. "Wendy, I'm sorry. I played that game trying to get something you wanted, and now you're having to look after - "

"Hey," Wendy said, pressing down on his ice pack to get his attention. "Don't sweat it, man. Mabel told me all about it. But let me tell you something. I once told you long before my summers were boring until you two showed up. And you've kept them interesting all this time. We've had a lot of fun together, you've always been concerned more about me than yourself - I don't think any of my other friends really compare to you. So I don't need a gift to remember you by, over the next few years. We'll still keep in touch and I'll still have memories from good days together. That's the best I could ask for."

Dipper looked up. "I just...remember how one of the first things we did together was go to that Mystery Fair? Well, I figured getting you what you wanted back then would be a great way to end on a - OW!"

Wendy socked him in the arm. "Then I want to hear it even less. There is a chance we'll see each other again, and there is a chance we won't. But trying to say goodbye? That precludes any hope. And besides…" she said, pulling out her wooden question mark. "I'm taking a piece of what we had wherever I go."

Dipper cracked a small smile as he pulled out his own. "As am I..."

#########################################################################################

" _Of course, that wasn't the end for them," Ken continued, pointing at Phoebe with his thumb. "In fact, exactly six months after they started dating..."_

 _#########################################################################_

 _ **Time #4**_

"Well, the anniversary gift should be at her house soon." Dipper said to himself as he checked his phone in the mall. "I can't help but feel like it's not enough, though…"

As he walked out, he saw a stand with the same game that had haunted him for about ten years. "Well, this time I can do this! Come on, add a sweetener to that gift." He gave the dollar to the carny, chose not to ask why he was setting up shop today, and threw the ball. Sadly, however, in his haste the ball slipped out of his fingers while he was winding his arm back. The ball sailed backwards and pegged a poor mall cop on a segway.

Dipper bailed before he could be accused of intentional damage, "On second thought, it'll have to do as is."

#########################################################################################################################################################

" _Well, the wooden-carved portrait inspired by their old talk at the bunker turned out to do fine on its own as a gift." Phoebe picked up. "And last but not least in his line of failures, just to give you an idea…"_

 _######################################################################################################################################################_

 _ **Time #5**_

"Dude, it's our honeymoon. You really wanna do this?"

Despite being in a Puerto Rico, Dipper and Wendy still somehow found a carnival booth with a very familiar game.

He sighed. "I at least want to see if my suspicion is right." He handed over three dollars. "One throw please."

"Si senor, buena suerte." The vendor deftly tossed him a ball. Dipper took aim and threw it straight at the milk bottles...only for it to bounce harmlessly off the bottles and begin bouncing in an infinite loop within the booth.

"Dios mio!" shouted the vendor as he ducked down.

Dipper sighed. "From Puerto Rico to Piedmont, it looks like I'm never getting that thing." Defeated, he hit his head against the counter.

Wendy pecked him on the cheek as the two left. "I'm just fine with that. Thanks for playing all these years, dork."

 _######################################################################################################################################################_

" _Wait a minute, then how'd they get that one?" Ken said, pointing at the panda-duck on the shelf._

" _Well," Phoebe said smugly. "Dad and I were at a fair together that Mom couldn't go to about five years ago, when..."_

 _##########################################################################################################################_

 _ **The Plus One**_

"Look at that, Daddy!" Phoebe excitedly pointed to a stall game with a very familiar prize. Dipper looked up, then groaned.

"You know, I used to try to get that toy for your Mommy at almost every opportunity. Every time I failed." Dipper looked down at the ground as a host of embarrassing memories flooded his mind.

"Daddy, it's OK. Mommy still loves you." Phoebe tugged her father's shirt, trying to reassure him.

Dipper nearly wrote this off as the ramblings of a child. But then he realized something. All these years he had the mindset of a twelve-year-old whenever he played - if he lost there would be consequences and he could not touch Wendy's heart. But the exact proof of the opposite was standing next to him. Maybe if he played with that in mind…

"Yeah...she does," he said cryptically as he took his daughter to the stand while riffling through his pocket with one hand. He pulled out a few dollar bills and handed them over. "Set me up, sir."

As he held the baseball in his hands, he closed his eyes and recalled all the brilliant times he had with his beloved over the years. How if he came home without the stuffed animal and told her what happened today, she'd laugh and they'd probably just have a quiet night together with their daughter. He opened his eyes and wound his arm back….

 _Later that day…_

"Hey, doofus, what are so happy about?" Wendy cracked as Dipper wordlessly placed a paper gift bag on the table.

"Just open this." Dipper said with a mischievous smile. Wendy lifted the tissue paper, then pulled out the last thing she expected to see - a panda-duck.

As she stared at it in disbelief and it smiled back at her, there was a moment of silence as Dipper waited apprehensively. What happened after that, however, was worth millions.

"OH MY GOD!" Wendy leapt up and tackled her husband before giving him the most adrenaline-filled kiss ever. Dipper melted into it wordlessly, and for a moment the two said nothing.

Wendy separated herself from his face for a second "I don't even know if I'm happier for myself or for you. You finally did it, man! You won!"

Dipper smiled as the two embraced, their ribcages both vigorously squeezed. "Sure did, Wendy. Sure did."

#######################################################################################################################################

" _You gave him advice at age eight that got him to win a game he had been struggling with for years?" Ken incredulously asked his co-host._

 _Phoebe shrugged with a smug grin. "I come from good stock, after all. Isn't that what this event is about?"_


	5. The Gang Finds Out

" _So, Ken, you've been with us awhile. What are your impressions of Aunt Mabel?" Phoebe probed._

 _Ken smiled. "She's a prankster with a wild sense of humor, no sense of restraint, and a flair for the dramatic. I'd say she's on the far end of the spectrum, her brother the complete opposite, and Wendy is the middle ground."_

 _Phoebe made an "eh" gesture with one hand. "I'll give you half-credit on that."_

" _Half?" Ken repeated incredulously._

 _She explained, "I think you'll find even Dad shares a bit of the family fun-loving side. Take, for instance, the immediate fallout of him getting with my mom. Did they ever tell you that the three of them agreed to keep their new relationship a secret from their friends prior to returning home...for fun?"_

#####################################################################################################################################################

It was the day after the three of them had driven the RV back to Gravity Falls. Grenda and Candy were in town, as was Pacifica, so Mabel invited all of them to lunch. Fortunately for her, a new Italian restaurant had opened in the past few months, so they decided to go check it out together. They were just sitting down and talking when Pacifica looked up.

"Hey, isn't that Dipper with Wendy?"

Mabel followed her eyes to her brother and her lumberjill friend as they walked in and sat down. "Can't blame the two for checking this place out as well. They haven't seen each other in a long time, I'm sure my bro-bro just wants to catch up with his best friend."

Candy nodded. "Yes, they must have a lot to talk about."

Pacifica looked unconvinced. "Maybe..."

Mabel decided to steer the conversation away from those two...while prepping the groundwork for coming back to it. "Thhhbt! Paci, you're overthinking it! Hey, Grenda, how are you and Marius doing?"

The rest of the meal passed uneventfully, even as Pacifica kept glancing furtively at the other table. In fact, one hour later, the four of them had paid and were passively sipping on drinks when Pacifica finally spoke again. "Hey, they're leaving now...hand in hand."

Mabel frowned. "Pacifica, what's up?"

"That's what I want to know. Even for friends, they've been acting a bit too close. I'm checking them out." She said getting up and walking out, with Candy and Grenda objecting as they followed her. Mabel smiled to herself as she joined them. _Just play it cool_ , she told herself.

They followed them out the door and through the town until they found themselves in the forest. From the back of the group, Mabel could see the others become a bit alert. Sneaking up to the front, she saw Wendy peck Dipper on the cheek. Turning around, the look on her friends' faces was priceless.

As Dipper and Wendy left, Mabel herded the girls into a vacant area and watched as they could no longer contain themselves.

"OH MY GOD!" Grenda shouted in her usual loud voice. "Those two are together now! Yes!"

Candy clapped her hands excitedly. "Yes, this is incredible, those two are made for each other!"

Mabel excitedly looked towards the final member of the group. "Paci?"

She had seen the heiress with many faces over the years - disgust, pride, fear, shock, anger. But this face - shock mixed with sadness? - had never appeared before. Mabel's face fell. "You OK?"

Pacifica snapped out of it and smiled unconvincingly. "Yeah...it's really great for him. After all these years, too."

Mabel smiled. "Yeah...and guess who was responsible!" She pumped her fists twice. "Match made!"

Pacifica chuckled. "Match made indeed…."

####################################################################################################################################################

"Well Mabel, how'd your day go?" Wendy asked wryly as Mabel entered the Shack. Mabel took one look at her and Dipper before bursting out into laughter.

"Best idea we've ever had!" She peeled a sticker off her sweater to reveal a small camera lens. Dipper took it and examined it.

"Grunkle Ford's camera held together, it seems. Alright," he pulled out a cord and connected it to his laptop. "I can't wait to see their faces..."

They laughed hard as hell for the first few minutes of it, seeing Grenda and Candy getting excited as the surprise hit them.

"Man, I'm glad we decided to play this out!" Dipper said as he drank a Pitt Cola. "Wait, what's Pacifica doing?" For at that moment they had reached the point where Mabel had turned to see her surprised face.

For a while all was silent. Then Wendy broke the silence. "Um...guess you owe me a few bucks, Mabes."

Mabel sighed as she got out her wallet. "I always knew she had a crush on you now and then, but I didn't think it would resurface."

For a while no one said anything as Mabel handed over the money. Then Dipper sighed. "We'll deal with that another time. She got over it before, I'm sure she will again."

Mabel smiled. "Got it, broseph! So, we still have other people to tell, right?" She slapped the sticker-cam back on her sweater.

Wendy laughed. "Oh man, if that was the girls, I can't wait to see how Soos reacts..."

################################################################################################################################################################

" _Huh, all three of them enjoying themselves?" Ken enquired._

" _Yup. Aunt Mabel got my parents together, and she's been a huge part of their relationship ever since." Phoebe smiled._

" _How about the Pacifica issue?"_

 _Phoebe sighed. "That's...a long story. Honestly, we are not paid enough to deal with that, too. Moving on..."_

 _"Wait, we get paid?"_

 _"I said moving on!"_


	6. Bound Together

" _I'm telling you, your parents have the most beautiful relationship I've ever seen." Ken remarked._

" _It did take you awhile to fully realize that, though," Phoebe noted. "For example…."_

 _##################################################################################################################################################################################################################_

"Woah!"

"What the - "

Husband and wife found themselves stuck to each other by the wrist. Dipper sternly looked at the teen that was holding what looked like a gun, fairly certain he was responsible. "Ken, what is this?"

Ken paled. "Sorry, Dipper! It's a gun Ford gave me to use with my suit to hold enemies in place."

Wendy looked at her wrist and groaned. "Dipper? Isn't this the super-strong adhesive from the ship you told me about?"

Dipper groaned as well. "How long is this supposed to last?"

Ken called over his shoulder. "Ford, how long does this last again?"

They heard a voice reply. "Basically until we apply the desiccant."

"Well, is it ready? We had an accident."

After a pause, all they got was a "um..."

"Oh, come on!" Wendy griped.

Mabel appeared out of nowhere as if on cue. "Hahaha. Looks like my silly bro-bro got a little too.."

"No..." Dipper warned her, but he was too late.

"ATTACHED to his sweetheart!" Mabel laughed uncontrollably. After she settled down a bit, she continued. "You know what? Bet 10 bucks that you guys can't handle the day like this without going nuts!"

Wendy grinned "Y'know what, why not? You're on!"

##################################################################################################################################

 _Kitchen, 2:00 PM_

"Knife?" Dipper's free hand gestured to Wendy's left. Mabel's yes peeked out of a corner with excitement.

"Got it." She deftly handed it to him through the conjoined hand.

######################################################################################################################################################################

 _Outside, 4:00 PM_

"OK" Wendy climbed into the driver's seat of the car after her husband had situated himself, straddling the middle section uncomfortably while his other leg dangled in the passenger seat.

He winced "I can handle this for ten minutes or so, I think we'll -"

"Then hold on!" she replied, flooring it.

"Wendy, you don't have to - WHOA!" Dipper panicked as the car lurched forward.

#####################################################################################################################################

 _The Woods, sunset_

"Get back here!"

The Pines family found themselves chasing Gompers III around as he unsuspectingly chomped on a plastic vial. As Mabel and Stan slowed down, Mabel spoke into her walkie-talkie. "You lovebirds ready? Heading your way."

"Oh, we got this." cackled the voice of a cocky redhead through the device.

Seconds later the couple charged out of the woods, calling out together as they ran. "In, out, in, out," their feet moving in perfect unison. As they approached the goat, Dipper called out, "Now!" and the two jumped together perfectly. Their arms wrapped around the goat as they fell on top of it, trapping the goat and retrieving the vial.

Ford and Stan finally caught up, with Mabel peering from behind. Ford spoke up, "Great job, you two! Well, the formula for releasing you two is finally ready." He pulled it out.

Wendy chuckled. "You sure we have to do this? I'm getting used to carrying some extra brainpower!"

Dipper joined in grinning, "Same with m and all this athleticism!"

"OK, Scrapbook-portunity right here! That kind of cheesy dialogue...smile!" Mabel pulled a camera out of her sweater and took a photo immediately as Ford poured the vial's contents onto the couple's wrists.

"Now, then, Mabes, I believe you owe me something?" Wendy gestured with an open palm. Mabel huffed as she pulled out a single Hamilton bill and slapped it into the hand.

As the rest of the family moved on, Mabel hung back a bit until someone joined her in a brown suit or armor - Kamen Rider Weird. "Sorry I wasn't able to help with this, had an issue back at the lake". As he pulled the active Chapter Drive from the Journal Belt, the armor around him dissolved to reveal Ken's tired face. "So, how'd it go?"

Mabel grinned madly. "Without a hitch. Those two are now separate once more."

"And the other thing?"

Now it was Mabel's turn to pridefully hold out an open palm. Ken sighed and got out his wallet, handing a few bills to Mabel. "And just when are you planning to tell them you more than made up your losses by betting with me that they WOULD be able to handle the day?"

"Who said I'm going to tell them?" Mabel happily skipped away. Ken checked his wallet, groaned, and trudged his way back to the Shack.

##################################################################################################################################################################

" _OK, riddle me this; how much did you bet Aunt Mabel on that one? Seems like you took a heavy hit."_

 _Ken looked down and mumbled, "Fifty."_

 _After a short pause, Phoebe started laughing in spite of herself. "You're an idiot, you know that?"_

 _Ken protested, "Look, no one I ever heard about in fiction or reality ad ever enjoyed a Conjoined Challenge. How was I supposed to know they're THAT much of a perfect match?"_

" _Alright," Phoebe conceded. "But you should've known you made the wrong choice, given you were up against the matchmaker who got them together in the first place."_


	7. Fake Relationship

" _I feel like any relationship has to be built on trust, and nothing tests that better than the many stings my mom and dad have done while dealing with the paranormal in Gravity Falls," Phoebe began._

" _Truth." Ken replied, "As a consequence, Dipper's had to pose as a single guy for many occasions. Hell, one time he had to go one step further and pretend to cheat on Wendy in order to -"_

" _Whoa, we're not doing that one!" Phoebe interrupted. She turned to the audience. "Sorry, the one he's talking about is one that's already been told by SuperGroverAway in his mega collection 'Pines Will Be Pines' under the chapter title 'Dramatic Measures'. Take a look, it's pretty interesting."_

" _Of course you'd say that, it's your parents!" Ken huffed confusedly. "So what are we doing, then?" As a sly grin emerged across the girl's face, Ken panicked. "You sure?"_

" _Oh yeah," Phoebe smiled. "So, about a year and a half after being married…."_

 _#####################################################################################################################################################_

Wendy walked peacefully to the Lookout Point that had at one point been the symbol of sorrow to her. Given her purpose, it seemed the right place to be.

"I'm glad you agreed to meet up for dinner tonight, Jason." She looked to the blonde-haired man next to him.

He smiled knowingly. "Hey, just glad I got to see you again. It was pretty fun."

"Oh, for sure."

Jason decided to check in on one last thing. "Hey, um...sorry for bringing up your marriage."

Wendy sighed. "It's OK. It's just been tough dealing with reality."

"What, too much too soon?"

"No, not that, it's just...he turned out to not be what I thought." Wendy kicked the ground. "All these years, he kept secrets from me, lied to me...almost as if to get with me in the end, honestly."

Jason was incredulous. "For that long? Jesus, that's disgusting. And you got married to him?"

Wendy buried her hands in her face. "He built a fake relationship, and he was good at it...but now I'm left with a husband who I can't trust." She seemed ready to cry.

As Jason looked at her - so cute, so vulnerable - he knew what to do. It was everything he hoped for. "Well, you don't have to be."

Wendy looked up. "What do you mean?"

Jason shrugged. "You know...I'm here if you need to talk. Having an outlet can be helpful. I know I wasn't the best back when..y'know, we were closer, but at the same time, I might as well help you out now that I know."

Wendy smiled. "Y'know, sometimes I think I should've given you a second chance. You were always so considerate when you were with me, even if you had your problems." She leaned on him.

He grinned to himself as he put an arm around her. "If you go where I think you are with this..."

Suddenly they felt a dark chill surround them as the wind picked up. Suddenly a cloaked figure materialized out of thin air in front of them. It drew a steel blade out of it's shadowy waist. "So, another wench betrays her husband?"

Jason paled and shrieked. "Wendy, what is that?"

Wendy buried her face in his chest. "Oh god, it's here for me."

"Indeed I am. Time for you to pay for your sins." The figure raised its weapon…

Suddenly, a net appeared out of the shadows and landed on the figured. With a giant BUUZZZZ-ZAP, the net started sparking out pure lightning, electrocuting the beast.

"AAAH!" the figure fell, and the hood fell off to reveal something distinctly not human - as if a gremloblin and a dwarf somehow had crossed. It was clearly down for the count, albeit alive.

The goateed face of Dipper Pines appeared out of the shadows, brandishing the net-launcher in his hand - a gun with a net loaded in the barrel and a battery indicator. "Wow, we did it! It actually worked!"

"Huh?" Jason wasn't given time to figure that out before Wendy suddenly leveled a wind-knocking punch into his gut. As Jason sprawled back a few feet, Wendy got up and joined the brunette man. "What is going on?"

"Jason, this is Dipper - my husband. Thanks for helping us out."

"With what?"

Dipper pointed to the cloaked monstrosity. "This mess has been targeting women that it thinks are acting inappropriately. So we decided to give it one as a ruse to lure it out." He held up his device. "Good thing the electro-net worked. Just perfected the frequency for its biology today."

Jason was shocked. "So you tricked me?"

Wendy nodded. "Don't act so surprised, given what you did to me. You cheated on me twice with the same girl, in case you forgot! Considerate, my hide! Meanwhile, everything I told you about Dipper was a lie - he's been nothing but the best. In the end, YOU were the fake relationship - with or without this sting."

Jason brushed off his clothes. "If that's how you feel, then don't bother calling me next time you need someone to take the fall!" He left in a huff.

"Good riddance!" Wendy called out.

As the married coupled cleaned up, though, Dipper could see that although Wendy's eyes were burning with triumph and anger, there was something else there - a twinge of pain. "Wendy, you alright?"

"Huh?" Wendy looked up. "Oh yeah, I'm fine. Just... reopened some old wounds with this."

"Yeah, I saw the whole thing," Dipper admitted. "Moved on you immediately in your weakness, acceptd your advances without doubt...I didn't want to believe everything you told me, but it seems it's all true."

"The idiot hasn't changed at all," Wendy sighed. "It'll be good to never see him again."

Dipper gathered Wendy in his arms. "Wendy, I'm sorry. I told you, we could've waited until Robbie or Pacifica was back..."

Wendy smiled and held him back, this time crying for real - but tears of joy rather than on mock sorrow. "It's alright, dork. Anything to get that thing off the streets. Besides," she said, pulling away a bit to look at him, "you know what made all that tolerable?"

"What?" Dipper asked, confused.

"The fact that thanks to his mess-ups, my favorite guy will be at my side for a long time." The two shared a quick kiss before leaving Lookout Point eagerly.

 _#########################################################################################################################################################################################_

 _Ken gave Phoebe a weird look. "That's what she said? Verbatim?"_

 _Phoebe raised an eyebrow. "What's your problem?"_

" _That just sounds a bit too cheesy for your mother."_

" _She can be sentimental when she wants to." Phoebe protested, crossing her arms. "We almost done?"_

 _Ken checked the papers in his pocket. "Just one more before my personal favorite."_


	8. Naughty and Nice

" _One thing I don't think you've learned yet, Ken." Phoebe said, popping a Pitt Cola. "My parents built their friendship on joking around and playing rough, and they still do to this day. Of course, sometimes it goes a bit too far..."_

 _Ken leaned back. "I'm listening…."_

 _#############################################################################################################_

"Wendy?"

Dipper found himself walking through the woods alone. A few minute hike had caused his wife to be missing for a good hour and a half. He had gotten worried enough to go look for her, even though his trademark anxiety had probably gotten him worked up for nothing….

"Wendy, where are you? Everything OK? You were just supposed to - WOAH!"

...or into a trap.

Dipper felt wires and ropes snap tight as the loop his foot has gotten into without him noticing closed around his ankle. He was hoisted onto his ankle and left dangling in midair. "Ock! WENDY!"

"Gotcha!" She appeared out of a bush laughing her head off. She approached her husband, hands triumphantly on her hips.

"Oh come on! Why do you keep doing this?"

"It's not my fault you wind yourself up too tightly. You gotta loosen up."

"Hey, it's not like it hasn't come in handy multiple ti -"

Suddenly the two heard a roar coming from behind them. Wendy instinctively turned, tense. "What was that?"

Smiling to himself, Dipper dropped the voice recorder in his hand that the sound had come from. He quickly reached with his free hand and tickled Wendy furiously. "Gotcha back!"

"Heeheehooha Ack!" She jumped back a few feet.

Dipper laughed. "You're the one who needs to loosen up and look out, it seems!"

Wendy backed away a bit more. "Thought you might do that. Look above you."

Dipper did and immediately regretted it. Hanging above him by a string was the biggest water balloon he had ever seen. "Oh no," he moaned as the rope snapped and the balloon began to fall…

 _#######################################################################################################################_

" _Jeez, hope he got that dry cleaned," Ken whistled._

" _Oh yeah, it was bad," Phoebe shook her head. "Fortunately, in order to make sure it's all in good fun and doesn't create any animosity, we have a system for letting it all out. Aunt Mabel actually helped me perfect it."_

" _Mabel came up with it? This I gotta hear." Ken sat down._

" _You know how those two LOVE their anchovy-and-pepperoni pizza?"_

" _And you've inherited that, from what I hear."_

 _She raised a hand in acknowledgement. "Guilty as charged. Anyway, on Fridays..."_

 _############################################################################################_

The three Pines stood around the table, two boxes of pizza in front of them. Phoebe opened each one and took two pieces before sliding the boxes to her parents on opposite sides of the table, each with six pieces.

"Alright, Mom, you're first."

Wendy sighed. "OK." She slid one piece on a paper plate to Dipper. "I'm sorry for throwing a snake on the bed Monday morning..."

Dipper then slid the piece back. "I'm sorry for putting noisemakers on your seat."

"Sorry for telling you Mabel go kidnapped by gnomes to get you out of your office."

"Sorry for…."

Five minutes later, Dipper had five pieces and Wendy had seven, but now the slices had been passed about twenty times.

"...And sorry for the water balloon that soaked you head to toe." Wendy slid it back, making the boxes even.

Phoebe put her notebook down. "Well, then, in a surprising twist.."

"Wait, cutie." Wendy took one more slice out of her box. "And this is for putting itching powder in your jacket to make you think you were nervous about some repressed memory." She tossed it into Dipper's, making it seven to five.

Dipper was incredulous. "I don't even...when did you do that?"

"This morning. Consider yourself lucky you forgot it at home."

Phoebe made a note in her notebook before announcing. "And for the fifth time in a row, Dad wins!"

"Well," Dipper conceded, "Your mom got more laughs, and I think she may care more about that than anything else."

Wendy cackled. "Whole point of a joke, doofus."

"Which is why I am more than happy to fight back." Dipper grinned, holding out the victory slice. "Split the difference?"

"Split the difference," Wendy affirmed, tearing the slice in half.

 _######################################################################################_

" _Wow, you felt the need to do that over a few pranks?" Ken smirked._

 _Phoebe laughed. "I wouldn't exactly call it a few. Besides, family bonding moments like those are what make it great to be their kid."_

 _Ken shrugged. "Guess I wouldn't know." He then muttered to himself, "Pepperoni and anchovy, huh? Gotta give that a try."_


	9. Wild Card: Anniversary

" _And now for the finale, and my personal favorite!" Ken shouted triumphantly._

" _Of course it is, you were there as more than a bystander for this one," Phoebe shot back._

" _So were you," Ken replied. "In fact, it's why I like it. It shows that one of the greatest parts of meeting Dipper for Wendy was being a part of the Pines family. Sure, it didn't legally happen until they were married, but thanks to him she honestly became close to all of them starting from age 15."_

" _So when Dad wanted to make a certain day special for Mom, he knew who to turn to. It was weeks in the making, but here's the simple version..."_

 _############################################################################################################_

Ken came into the Shack one morning only to hear a hub of conversation immediately, before he could even see the participants. "So, you sure you can handle everything?" Dipper's voice projected anxiety.

"No sweat it, bro-bro, it'll be fine!" Mabel could be heard even more clearly. "Glad-Glad and I will have all of them ready, won't we dear?"

"Count on us, Uncle Dipper!" her daughter shrill answered.

"Finn? How about your end?"

"I can do it, Uncle D, but I honestly could use someone else to help me out. My part alone will seem a bit underwhel-"

Ken finally reached the bottom of the stairs to see the entire Pines family, minus Wendy, along with Soos and Melody gathered in the kitchen. "What's going on?"

Without really answering him, Finn turned around and asked him, "Hey Ken, you got a decent sense of musicality, right?"

"Yeah, I did band for a year." Ken answered, confused.

"Drums?"

"Yup."

Finn turned to his uncle. "He'll do."

His uncle nodded. "Great. Stan, Ford, Soos? Bunker's gonna be ready?"

Stan griped, "Yeah, yeah, it'll be ready. Sheesh, kid, you told us about this six months in advance, you think we've been idle?"

Dipper nodded. "OK, then I guess we're good for now. I better go check that gremloblin trap, Wendy told me to meet her there and I can't let her get suspicious." With that he rapidly left the Shack.

Ken spoke up. "Again, what was that all about?"

Soos hit his forehead. "Oh, dawg, I totally forgot you wouldn't know. So, like, Dipper and Wendy have this thing about celebrating their anniversary - I really can't explain it that well."

"Here, I'll tell him." Finn said, grabbing Ken's wrist and taking him upstairs. "So here's the deal. In three weeks it's their anniversary, but they don't count the years from that."

"Wait, how does that make sense?"

"They purposely timed their wedding so that it's the same day that, ten years prior, my uncle revealed his feelings to Aunt Wendy."

"Wait...but didn't Wendy reject him back then?"

"Yeah," Finn conceded. "But they claim that's when they could tell their dynamic changed. Sure, they were close before, but after that the things they dealt with together suddenly were amplified. They made even more of an effort to hold onto the bond they had...even before it changed into something more."

Ken smiled. "So is that why Dipper wants to use the bunker?"

Finn grinned. "Yup. This is their twenty-sixth year, after all, and they weren't able to do anything for the twenty-fifth since he had this issue pop up in a Wyoming dig site - long story, ask later."

Ken clapped his hands together. "So, what can I do?"

Finn handed him some sheet music as they arrived in his half of the attic (a wall had been put up when Gladys and Finn got a bit too old). "You can handle percussions, right?"

"Should be based on simple musicality, sure." Ken scanned the sheet music. "Didn't think you'd be into 2010s British pop."

"Oh, well, we're doing this cover done by a heavy metal artist shortly after. Don't worry, though," he said opening a guitar case to show a black electric guitar. "I got the heavy lifting."

###################################################################################################################################################

 _The day of….._

"Alright," Dipper said as they all gathered next to the bunker. "Everything set up?"

"Ready to go, once we all get in there..." Ford gestured to Mabel, who took her grappling hook and aimed it at the tree branch lever, causing the hook to knock it to the 'down' position.

"OK, places. Phoebe, make the call." With that, everyone dashed into the tree trunk as Phoebe took out her cell phone and called her mother.

"Hey Mom, how was lunch with Melody?"

Wendy's voice came out of the phone. "Hey, cutie. Yeah, it went pretty well. We're heading to the Shack now."

"About that….can you meet me at the clearing instead? The one next to the bunker?"

"Um, sure."

##########################################################

As Wendy and Melody approached, Wendy wore a big smile on her face. "So, what'd you call us here for, Pheebs?"

"See for yourself," Phoebe and Melody smiled and giggled as they headed downstairs.

"WAIT!" Wendy called, dashing in as fast as she could. Sadly, they had been far faster and she found herself alone.

The hideout she found herself in was transformed. First there was the entrance, left wide open - she didn't even have to activate the security runes. Then as she passed through the lab, she found that the cave had been much better lit than usual, with streamers all over the place.

"What the….? Dipper, did you do all this?" Wendy asked allowed, knowing that something this well-rehearsed would not be spoiled by him answering her question.

Meanwhile, in an alcove within the cave, Ken and Finn waited for their signal. "Ford, we good to go?"

"Amplifiers and recording gear ready." Ford replied.

"Hit it, kids! Before my hearing aid bugs out." Stan added.

And so, as Wendy approached the first of many paintings lining the walls - clearly done by Mabel and Gladys - and gasped with recognition, the music began to play.

 **[AN: Soundtrack is "ONE DIRECTION - DRAG ME DOWN (Metal Cover)" by pellekofficial on Youtube. Bold lies reflect the lines as Ken and Finn sing them to give you an idea of real-time pacing, but it's not a perfect fit with the story's pacing. Also, a lot of these events are courtesy of other authors, so please read the disclaimers at the end.]**

 **Finn: I've got fire for a heart**

 **I'm not scared of the dark**

 **You've never seen it look so easy**

 **I got a river for a soul**

 **And baby you're a boat**

 **Baby you're my only reason**

The painting clearly showed one of the earliest memories she still held dear - herself and Dipper outside this very bunker when he was twelve and she fifteen. She could remember her words as if it was yesterday: "If you ever stopped being my friend, I would throw myself into the Bottomless Pit."

The next painting was also familiar. It showed Dipper and Wendy enjoying the Woodstick festivities with their friends. The little guy's face was looking up at hers, overjoyed that what had happened moments before had salvaged the night for them. Wendy smiled at the memory and moved on.

 **Finn: If I didn't have you there would be nothing left**

 **The shell of a man who could never be his best**

Little Dipper in the next mural held a scrapbook close to him as teenage Wendy spied on him in the corner. Adult Wendy, meanwhile, nearly cried at the idea that after all these years her husband had regarded that act of kindness so dearly. Nearly.

 **Finn: If I didn't have you, I'd never see the sun**

 **You taught me how to be someone, yeah**

Dipper and Wendy sat on the Ferris Wheel enjoying the sunset view of the Oregon State Fair. That had been on the tail of Wendy making him promise to cherish his bond with his twin, as that made him who he was. _I guess I did teach him, huh?_ Wendy reflected wistfully.

 **Ken: All my life**

 **You stood by me**

 **When no one else was ever behind me**

 **All these lights**

 **They can't blind me**

 **With your love, nobody can drag me down**

At first, the decision to include Weirdmageddon seemed an odd one, until Wendy noticed the exact moment portrayed - herself and Dipper surrounded by Gideon's prison henchmen. It was right after Dipper had told her she was the coolest person he'd ever known, and right after he had told Gideon that he had to strive to be worthy of being loved. Looking back, Wendy wondered how many times Dipper had told himself that. _At any rate, he's more than worthy now and has been for years._

 **Finn: All my life**

 **You stood by me**

 **When no one else was ever behind me**

 **All these lights**

 **They can't blind me**

 **With your love, nobody can drag me -**

Mabel definitely took a lot of creative liberties with the next one. Although the following April Wendy and Dipper had defeated almost all of her ex-boyfriends, they never stood atop their bodies like that. As for the sixteen cupcakes, however….Wendy could never forget how Dipper reclaimed for her the birthday that Faller's Day had for many years unfairly eclipsed.

 **Ken and Finn (together) - down!**

 **Nobody, nobody**

 **Nobody can drag me down**

 **Nobody, nobody**

 **Nobody can drag me down**

Two Christmases on display, side-by-side - Wendy's first ones. One year she hugged the Pines twins, their wooden question marks hanging off their bodies. The next she laughed as the flustered twins were dangling in a net in the Shack's attic, caught in the trap she had set to greet them.

As Wendy continued, they no longer felt like murals. They were portals into her past, which she now saw as if she was actually there once more.

 **Finn: I got fire for a heart**

 **I'm not scared of the dark**

 **You've never seen it look so easy**

 **I got a river for a soul**

 **And baby you're a boat**

 **Baby you're my only reason**

After a gap of many years, the next image portrayed a location on a certain road trip and showed the recently exorcised and badly hurt Dipper in the arms of his best friend and girlfriend as of that exact moment. Although the kiss the two were entangled in sorta made that clear.

The next painting showed the couple standing up straight, angrily confronting a man who had just ran out on Dipper's sister, who sat in the truck behind them with her newborn twins. Wendy smiled, unsure of who in particular had insisted that particular moment make it on the wall. Still, to her it emphasized an important point - her husband was not the only Pines that Wendy cared about.

 **Ken: If I didn't have you there would be nothing left**

 **The shell of a man who could never be his best**

 **If I didn't have you, I'd never see the sun**

 **You taught me how to be someone**

 **Yeah**

Three images telling a story. One of Dipper proposing to Wendy, clothes torn by wolves that were now retreating as Mabel and Soos looked on from behind a bush. Wendy remembered her words then, too - "Honestly, I kinda expected it to go down like this."

Then came Dipper breathing heavily after drinking one of the most powerful whiskeys that Manly Dan owned the day after - all to prove that he was right for Wendy when he really had nothing to fear. Sometimes Wendy wondered if there was anything Dipper wouldn't do for her.

Finally, the wedding. The two of them happy as possible, with Mabel receiving praise for making it all possible. What more to say about that?

 **Finn and Ken: All my life**

 **You stood by me**

 **When no one else was ever behind me**

 **All these lights**

 **They can't blind me**

 **With your love, nobody can drag me**

Four pictures centered on the shared treasure in their life - who luckily by now knew about all this. Dipper and Wendy playing Dungeons, Dungeons, and more Dungeons with bottles of beer nearby. Dipper stumbling to his wife to reassure her upon learning they were pregnant. Wendy lying on the ground of the Mystery Shack, tired but satisfied as she and Dipper held their newborn daughter. Finally, Wendy and eleven-year-old Phoebe sitting in a tree together as the former saw how much of her husband the latter had in her - and loving every minute of it.

 **Finn and Ken (together): - down!**

 **Nobody, nobody**

 **Nobody can drag me down**

 **Nobody, nobody**

 **Nobody can drag me**

The final few were from this very summer. The two of them napping peacefully in Ford's lab as the finished Journal Belt lay in from of them. Dipper hugging Wendy as he remembered her going back in time to reassure his twelve-year-old self. And Wendy and Dipper trying to drive a car glued to each other with alien adhesive.

As Wendy reached the end of the murals, she gasped at the display case in front of her. In it were all the items Dipper held dear - his locket from the aborted timeline, the "Partners-in-Crime" scrapbook, the panda-duck, and the very first trapper hat he ever got from her. Finally, from behind the case Dipper emerged from the shadows and picked up the song himself.

 **Dipper: All my life**

 **You stood by me**

 **When no one else was ever behind me**

 **All these lights**

 **They can't blind me**

 **With your love, nobody can drag me down**

He let the boys continue as he said to his wife "Figured I'd go all-out, given I didn't get you anything last year."

Wendy grinned and punched his arm. "I thought the trip to your dig site in Wyoming was the gift."

"You think a work trip was good enough for that?"

"Any time with you is a good enough."

Dipper gathered her close. "And with that, after all these years, I finally get to say your line."

"What's that?" she grinned mischievously.

As he leaned in, he said only one word. "Dork."

 **Ken and Finn: All my life**

 **You stood by me**

 **When no one else was ever behind me**

 **All these lights**

 **They can't blind me**

 **With your love, nobody can drag me**

As they kissed, Mabel, Soos, Gladys and Melody shouted, "Surprise!" and blue-green confetti fell courtesy of Stan and Ford. The two didn't care, though - they were too lost in each other's lips, the kiss they were sharing arguably on par with their very first.

As they separated, Dipper smiled. "Thanks for the past twenty-six years, Wendy."

Wendy smiled back. "If you really want to thank me, make the next twenty-six just as good. And the twenty-six after that."

"Done," Dipper promised as they embraced.

 **Ken and Finn (together): - down!**

 **Nobody, nobody**

 **Nobody can drag me down**

 **Nobody, nobody**

 **Nobody can drag me down**

 **Nobody, nobody**

 **Nobody can drag me down**

 **Nobody, nobody**

 **Nobody can drag me down**

 **#############################################################**

Several hours - and many champagne glasses for the adults - later, Ken and Finn trooped towards the recording booth that Ford had used for their performance, laptop in hand. The sixteen-year-old boy plugged his laptop into the console and began transferring the file from the day's performance as his younger counterpart looked on.

"So, what's the deal?" Ken inquired.

"The person who taught me to play..." Finn said as he opened his email. "Once told me to send him any recordings of a performance to see how well I did."

As the two watched the file get uploaded, Ken pried further. "So, I know Pacifica gave you the guitar, but I didn't think she knew how to play..."

"What made you think she gave me the guitar?"

Ken rolled her eyes. "Solid gold tuning pegs? Those aren't standard."

Finn chuckled. "You got me there. But no, she doesn't know." As he hit the Send button, he cryptically finished, "It was another old family friend..."

#####################################################################

 _Portland, OR_

The man sitting in front of his computer opened the file, listening to every note of the heavy metal resonate in his ears. It took a special kind of skill to make the sound pop even through an mp3 file, but he was glad the Pines kid had figured out how to do that. The man leaned back and enjoyed every second of it, thinking about the past from his point of view. It had started off more sour than the happy couple's, but matched their own in the end when he had achieved peace with how things were.

"Hey, Blue Apron just delivered the dinner ingredients, you want to help with - " his wife stopped upon entering the room and hearing the music herself. "Neat, is that Finn?"

"Yup," her husband replied. "Looks like he's really come into his style since we moved. He can do whatever he likes now with his talents and he'll be fine."

The woman twirled some of her purple hair with her fingers. "Really takes you back, doesn't it Robbie?'

The pale-faced, black-haired husband turned around and nodded. "They chose to count the years further back than most couples. As a result, this all began in their eyes a bit before we got together and when I was still the poster image of a jerk."

Tambry leaned down and hugged her sitting partner. "Guess we've changed since then, too. We'll call them later. You coming?"

Robbie got up. "I'll be right there. One last thing I need to do."

As Tambry left, Robbie opened up one of the drawers in his dresser and moved all his shirts aside until he reached something at the bottom. He took out a hoodie he hadn't touched in years - tight and grey, with a stitched heart in the dead center. He reached into one of the pockets and pulled out his own copy of a picture that was in Dipper and Wendy's scrapbook - from Woodstick the very first summer the Pines twins had visited. Sure, Robbie was closest to Tambry in that image, but he was still sulking in the corner. Meanwhile, Dipper and Wendy were on the opposite side, Wendy's arm thrown onto Dipper's shoulder as they treasured the idea of going to Dipper's first concert series together.

If he had seen that a year after it was taken, he may have felt a pang of sorrow, even envy. But now, after all that had faded, he only felt happy for them, proud that such a moment was now just one in many that they have had together.

"Happy anniversary, guys," he said to himself as he put the picture down and went to join his own wife for an evening that allowed them to be close in their own way.

##########################################################################################

" _Wow, surprised we're including that bit." Phoebe remarked._

 _Ken replied, "Apparently it's a bit of a sweetener for everyone reading this far - bit of insight into something WAY down the road for the main series. Speaking of..."_

" _I'll take it from here." A voice said from the heavens._

" _Wait...is that…." Phoebe was interrupted as a brown man with black hair landed in from of them with a resounding boom._

" _Wait….Castle-Of-Fiction? The author?" Phoebe was amazed?_

" _Hey," I replied as I tapped the device on my wrist. "Pretty easy for me to get a fourth wall-breaking watch. Now then, how about we finish all this?"_

" _It's all yours," Ken and Phoebe stepped back a pace._

 _I clapped my hands together. "Right, so first of all, this established many Ddp456 and SuperGroverAway stories as part of our timeline, so special thanks to -_

 _Ddp456's Photograph,_

 _Ddp456's Twin vs Twin_

 _Ddp456's Wendy Corduroy's Utterly-Insane and Exhausting Love Life_

 _Ddp456's Dipper Pines's Confusing, Yet Totally Epic Fallers' Day_

 _SuperGroverAway's Christmas with a Corduroy_

 _SuperGroverAway's Project Lumberdork_

 _SuperGroverAway's Never Alone_

 _SuperGroverAway's Pop the Question_

 _SuperGroverAway's Meet the Parents_

 _SuperGroverAway's Pines will be Pines_

 _Please check all of these out, these authors are amazing. Meanwhile, if you could also check out Kamen Rider Weird, you'll find Ken Takigawa's story as it unfolds so you understand why I felt the need to tell this week's events from his point of view."_

" _Hey!" the boy protested to no avail._

" _Or if you could check out our other superheroes over at Power Rangers Dimensions, I'd appreciate that. As for the bonus story I referred to on Day 1...still on the fence about that, so stay tuned! For now, I'm Castle of Fiction..."_

" _I'm Ken..."_

" _And I'm Phoebe…."_

 _The three said together. "And see you next year!"_


End file.
